


two intertwined

by rikotan, yunnings (ladylolli)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternative Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Angst, Character Death, M/M, Mild Gore, Violence, beef bowl and beer, ghoul asahi, human noyassan, vending machines, we are probably not sorry for this, yoshinoya and asahi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 06:32:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2140719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikotan/pseuds/rikotan, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladylolli/pseuds/yunnings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Asahi eats Noshinoya (in the ghoul sense).</p>
            </blockquote>





	two intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> collaboration fic. in which we are not sorry for what you are about to read. title taken from 'tokyo ghoul''s anime opening: unravel
> 
> terminologies from the manga series 'tokyo ghoul'/'tokyo kushuu' _(will be explained at the bottom)_

The last time he ate was when Sugawara shoved meat - human meat - into his mouth and had him swallow while Daichi held him down.

 

_Daichi enters his apartment first, Sugawara following close behind. There’s a package that smells awfully nice - like the meat buns Karasuno buys from Coach Ukai’s shop after their intense training. Asahi smiles guility, scratching his chin._

 

_“I-I’m not feeling well,” Asahi lies, faking a cough into his hands. He has not been going to school nor practice and Asahi felt guilty. He catches his reflection on the window - his eyes aren't hollowed-out and bloody red._ Good. _He can smell Sugawara and Daichi, and abruptly stops breathing through his nose. Asahi figures that his acute sense of smell is a ghoul thing, and squeezes his eyes shut so frustrated tears don’t fall._

 

_Ghoul. Different._

 

_Daichi is somber, Sugawara smiles - but there is something sad about the smile. “Here,” Sugawara tells him, and tosses the package into his hands._

 

_Asahi opens it. His fingers became numb and bloodless. The package falls to the ground from his grip; the plastic crinkles at his feet. Human meat._

 

_“Eat it,” Sugawara prompts. Sugawara continues to wear a comforting smile even as his eyes flash red - ghoul. “You’re one too, right, Asahi?” Sugawara asks and points to his kakugan. The difference between the Sugawara he knows and the Sugawara here now is stark and unsettling._

 

_“I don’t - I’m not-”_

 

_His eyes - red and hollow like Sugawara’s now - looks from his company to the meat. It’s-. Asahi clamps his mouth shut and tastes iron, blinks away his kakugan. He backs away, head shaking. Daichi’s palms on his shoulder feels less of assurance. The hand on his shoulder became a locking grip, holding Asahi in place._

 

_“No.” Sugawara interjects, smile falling from his face, his lips replaced with a hard line. “You are. A ghoul. You know this-” Sugawara picks up the package of human meat as Asahi struggles against Daichi’s grip, “-smell nice.”_

 

_“It’ll taste nice too, I promise.” Sugawara coaxes, voice softer, gentler._

 

_Asahi thrashes against Daichi violently._

 

_“This looks like bullying,” Sugawara’s hands kept Asahi’s jaws open, “But it’s for your survival, Asahi.” Sugawara’s explains quietly, his face mournful and jaws tight._

 

_The slab of human meat was forcibly pushed down Asahi’s throat. And after sometime, Daichi releases him. Asahi rushes to the toilet; fingers prodding his throat to purge out what he had consumed. Nothing. Asahi hates the warmth and satisfaction in his stomach. He curls into a fetal position, and refuses to move even when Daichi and Sugawara left._

 

Asahi had since stopped eating. Ghouls can last for a month on human meat alone, he recalls, and Asahi thinks he can last longer than a month. He gulps coffee like they were his lifeblood - coffee runs and colours his veins more than blood do now. Asahi stays in his room, fearful of walking out the streets and seeing meat instead of living, breathing human beings.

 

In a way, starving and hiding out in his apartment is his ahimsa.

 

* * *

 

He was outside Coach Ukai’s shop, shaded by awnings and cooled by escaped air from the icebox. From the distance, Nishinoya waves, and sprints down the slope with Tanaka in a match to see who can reach Asahi first. Nishinoya slaps his back as he approaches, talking a mile a minute with Tanaka. As Karasuno approaches, Asahi flanks their back protectively.

 

“Aren’t you gonna eat?” Nishinoya asks, voice muffled by the meat bun in his mouth. His hands digs inside the packet to grab another.

 

Asahi grins awkwardly, scratching his chin. “Ah, no,” he fumbles a reply. Ghouls can’t eat human food. It is not that ghouls can’t; but human food tastes as disgusting as it is unhealthy for ghouls - human food does not do any good for ghouls, hindering the development of _kagune_ if not purged from their system.

 

Asahi recalls the various failed attempts at trying to consume human food.

 

Sugawara pats his back and grins comfortingly. “It’s okay,” Sugawara assures in a whisper, “It’ll be fine.”

 

He eyes Nishinoya’s beaming grin, arms stretched to offer a steaming hot meat bun. “Thanks,” Asahi accepts. He does not bite into it.

-

_Later,_ when Nishinoya warns that his meat bun will grow cold and everyone had gone their separate ways, Asahi bites into it. Tears streaked his face - disgust at the taste of the meat bun, and frustration- frustration because _he’s not normal._ Asahi’s a _ghoul_.

 

* * *

 

“Asahi.”

 

_Is he sick?_ Nishinoya ponders, recalling a crying Asahi. Asahi had seemed ill; hesitant of accepting a meat bun and even taking a bite. Asahi had cried, and Nishinoya had not approached their ace. The surprise at seeing Asahi crying had rooted him to his spot.

 

Tanaka turns to his companion, curious. They are on break now. Even when Nishinoya is drenched in sweat, he does not make a move to towel down or rehydrate. Nishinoya seemed to be deep in thought. Tanaka gulps down his bottle of water down and stares at their libero, wary of a silent Nishinoya.

 

“Asahi’s been missing practice again,” Nishinoya mutters, voice muffled as he wipes the sweat away with his sleeves. Tanaka throws the spare towel over, to which Nishinoya accepts gratefully.

 

“Did something happen?” Nishinoya wonders out loud.

 

They thought back to _before_ \- when Asahi’s self-esteem was badly shaken; when everyone’s self-esteem was badly shaken by Datekougyo’s iron wall. But now? Nishinoya presses his lips together and comes up with a blank. Nothing. Nothing could have deterred Asahi from attending practice. They are having fun. Asahi had been calling for tosses, and spiking them in powerfully. Asahi had said “I know”, “It’s alright” and “ _I won’t run anymore_ ” when Nishinoya went to pick him their ace up for practice. _Asahi had been smiling._

 

“Nah,” Tanaka assures, wearing a grin and echoing his thoughts, “There’s no way Asahi’s in a slump again.”

 

“Yeah, you’re right!” Nishinoya slapping Tanaka’s back agreeingly. He hops back to practice.

-

The first time Asahi met Oikawa, Sugawara had warned him to stay away from the captain of Aobajousai’s volleyball team. Sugawara was met with confused eyes. Sugawara merely repeated his warning, somber. “Don’t go near Oikawa no matter what, Asahi.” He could feel the tension, and he meekly nodded _(Asahi wasn’t good with interacting with new people too, so he wasn’t that concerned in the first place)_.

 

The ball shot through the court, and with precision, it had got into Asahi’s area of defence. Oikawa’s serve was power-packed and at the same time, accurate. He was unable to safely return the ball, but still managed _(with some awkward maneuver of his limbs)_ to get the ball back up in the air for Karasuno’s attack. Cheers of “Nice save!” came from Karasuno when Asahi managed to save the ball _(as it was a big feat, coming from the Grand King)_ , and with the help of Hinata, they managed to score.

 

No one saw the calculating look Oikawa wore when he eyed Asahi, a smirk playing on his lips.

 

* * *

 

“Nice play just now, Asahi-san.” Asahi had looked up at the sound of his name, and he was met with Oikawa walking towards him. The rest of Karasuno was out of sight, seeing as Asahi was going to the toilet. He had bowed, while humbly denying that he was any good compared to Oikawa. “Asahi-san, you should give yourself more credit. How about a drink?”

 

Asahi declined, his lips tight and limbs turning cold as he recalls Sugawara’s warning.

 

Oikawa insisted. “Come on, let me treat you to a can of Pocari Sweat. They are available at a vending machine just behind the school building.”

 

“O-oikawa-san,”

 

“Come on, don’t be shy. It’s just a treat anyway,” A charming smile played on Oikawa’s lips, and Asahi agreed just to stop Oikawa from tugging on his arm.

 

What harm would be done with just a drink from Oikawa? Asahi shrugged Sugawara’s warning to the back of his head as he followed the captain of Aobajousai’s volleyball team across the campus.

 

* * *

 

The change was gradual, but Asahi realised it too late. He should have realised how there were lesser and lesser people around them. Asahi should have realised that he was surrounded by walls. It was a dead end.

 

He should have followed Sugawara’s warning. His mouth opened to scream but all that came out was a strangled choke. Oikawa’s features changed, and Asahi could make out the tell-tale sign of a ghoul. A shiver went down his spine as he looks into Oikawa’s _kakugan_. “You managed to defend against my serve,” Oikawa licked his lips, his _kagune_ was visible and he was blocking any route that Asahi might use to escape. “As a reward, I shall devour you.”

 

Everything passed in a blur. Asahi remembered running _(or stumbling and crawling)_ away from Oikawa, with little effectiveness. Oikawa had used his kagune _(a_ rinkaku-type _, Asahi remembers vaguely from a show that discusses about ghouls)_ , and with just a slap against Asahi’s calf, the Karasuno ace could feel his bone breaking. “Ughhhhhh,” he was covered in sweat, and trying his best to run away.

 

Another hit landed on his abdomen, and blood was coughed out as Asahi felt his kidneys being crushed from the impact. He was having a hard time to breathe, the possibility of his rib being broke and puncturing his lungs was probable with all the hits from Oikawa’s kagune that landed on him.

 

Asahi was too slow ~~.~~ He was unable to run.

 

And it didn’t take Oikawa long to quickly rip the muscles on his left arm off with just a bite. The pain was excruciating, but it did not stop from one bite. Another piece of muscle was ripped from his shoulder, and Asahi could feel blood oozing out of his body.

 

There was suddenly a loud bang, and the last thing Asahi remembers was a vending machine toppling onto Oikawa on his left, smashing the ghoul.

 

Everything went black after that.

 

* * *

 

Asahi was not the protagonist of a novel or anything.

 

_“Quick! His heartbeat is slowing down!”_

 

He was just a high school student who likes to play volleyball;

 

_“There are three broken ribs, left lung punctured and both kidneys are crashed!”_

 

Just like any students who likes sports you can find all over Japan.

 

_“Get ready for a organ transplant!”_

 

But …

 

_“But we need the approval of the victim’s family!”_

 

_“We can’t be bothered right now! We HAVE to save the patient we have right now!”_

 

If, for argument’s sake,

 

_“Doct-!”_

 

Someone was to write a story with him in the lead role.

 

_“Hurry and prepare! I will hold all responsibilities!”_

 

It would certainly be,

 

_“Alright!”_

 

A tragedy.

 

* * *

 

_Meat_. There is a grumbling in his stomach and pounding in his head. His chest aches. Nothing in his fridge smells nice; Asahi knows they won’t taste nice either. He clamps his mouth shut and crouches by the fridge.

 

The television reports ghoul sightings in Karasuno’s immediate area, but Asahi thinks of meat instead. _The news anchor looks and sound like high-quality meat - the lean meat, a fair amount of fats, smooth ski-_ Asahi gulps.

 

_“Hey, Asahi? I’m dropping by, okay? Seeya!”_

 

There is a finalising click from the answering machine when Nishinoya’s message ended. Asahi stiffens. He scurries to switch the television off, and catches sight of his _kakugan_. Bloody red amidst hollows, and red veins protruding out of the red pupil. Distinctively a ghoul’s _kakugan_. Asahi breathes faster.

 

It had been two months since he last left his apartment, and many more since he last ate. He had been hiding in his apartment; too afraid to step outside and view living, breathing beings as meat. He had been fearful of himself - what if he went on a rampage and revealed himself as a ghoul? Asahi had just viewed the news anchor as meat and not human! There is no meat in his freezer - he had disposed them off as soon as Sugawara and Daichi left. Had he kept the package of human meat in his freezer, Asahi fears the loss of his humanity. He chokes back a panicked cry. Time ticks by; a countdown.

 

Asahi fears the part of him that awaits Nishinoya’s approach.

 

Shakily, Asahi messaged Sugawara.

 

( _“Help._ ”)

 

* * *

 

The smell - fragrance - of a human. Asahi’s mouth watered; he could smell something delicious just outside his apartment. Asahi could smell _someone_ delicious. Just like the steak of the beef store he often frequent when he allows himself to indulge in good food. The steak that was juicy and sweet, and the flavour of the beef as it gently melts in with the mushroom sauce that it was topped with. The steak that he had once enjoyed before he became a one-eyed ghoul.

 

Asahi knew better than anyone that what was outside his door was no steak.

 

“Asahi! It’s Nishinoya! Nishinoya Yuu, you better open the door now, Asahi!” Asahi had bit hard on his lips, he knows that his sole kakugan was out. The tell-tale sign of a ghoul. Other than heavily salivating at the sight - no; by just the smell - of humans.

 

A bitter laughter welled up from the depths of his belly. How ironic. Asahi tugged on his hair, which were in a mess _(and even more so due to its length)_. A low laughter bubbled up from his stomach, and it got louder.

 

To think that Nishinoya would smell so delicious. The same Nishinoya who he admires for being gutsy, and doing things that Asahi himself will never be able to do. To think that the person he admires the most would smell like his favourite steak.

 

The knocking on the door of his apartment got louder, and through his partly sane mind, he could hear Nishinoya calling his name. “Asahi! I know you are in there! Open up!” The urge to pull open the door and pounce onto Nishinoya - no, his next meal - was overwhelming. He had bit hard enough onto his lips to draw blood.

 

His words came out as a soft whisper, lost in the loud knocking of his door. It was a soft plea from Asahi’s fading sanity, “Nishinoya … run …” Tears, sweat and mucus were trickling down his face, as Asahi felt his sanity get overpowered by the hunger he was facing.

 

* * *

 

He had heard an insane laughter coming from Asahi’s apartment. Nishinoya recognizes the voice as Asahi’s. Nishinoya wasn’t the brightest person on Earth when it came to his studies but he was good at figuring people out. He knew Asahi was hiding something from him, and he was determined to find out. It’s just behind this locked door, the truth to the secret that Asahi has been hiding from him. The knocking on the door got louder, and more desperate. It was frustrating for Nishinoya; Asahi was a person that he admired. For having the height that he didn’t have, for having the strength in spiking he didn’t have. And more importantly, for being kind to everyone, no matter who they are.

 

He had stopped knocking, and punched the apartment’s door with all his might. It did not budge at all. More punches were thrown onto the door, before kicks were added in as well. In his fury _(for not being able to reach Asahi and helping him)_ , he misjudged his balance and his kick landed on a potted plant outside Asahi’s apartment. The pot had rolled off to the other side of the walkway, revealing a key underneath it. Tears that had welled up in Nishinoya’s eyes slowly slid down his cheek, as he stared dumbfounded at the key.

 

“A key? To Asahi’s apartment?” He blinked.

 

It took him a moment to register before he had grabbed the key and shoved it into the lock, promptly turning it and unlocking the door. The door opened with a creak, and Nishinoya noticed how the air within the apartment was still _(he noticed how the windows were closed and the curtains were drawn)_. “A-Asahi?” He took a step into the apartment. There was no reply, but he knows Asahi was there.

 

“Asahi, are you alrig-!” His sentence was cut halfway when he was violently thrown across the apartment, bringing down a _shouji_ with him. Dust were dancing across the apartment, and it took awhile before it cleared. Looking down at him was Asahi. Nishinoya froze at the sight of Asahi.

 

A single _kakugan_.

 

The presence of a _kagune_ , specifically a _rinkaku_.

 

The destructive force which had made Nishinoya fly across the room.

 

All the pieces clicked in Nishinoya’s mind as he stood up, wincing at a broken rib. “Hey, Asahi. Why do you look so scared?” He cracked a smile, attempting to get closer to Karasuno’s ace.

 

“Asahi, why are you crying?”

 

There was no further warning before Asahi’s _rinkaku_ landed another blow on Nishinoya. Blood was spat out, and he was positive that his rib was broken. Asahi was getting close, and before Nishinoya was able to move away, he was held down in place by Asahi’s strong arms. “N-nishinoya,” he had involuntarily jerked from Asahi’s voice. It was trembling, and tears continued to roll down the ace’s face.

 

“Run, I don’t want to e-eat.”

 

Asahi had not wanted Nishinoya to find out like this. He didn’t want Nishinoya to know that he is a ghoul. ‘Maybe,’ Asahi had thought, ‘if I starved long enough I would die. That would be better.’

 

A fist had promptly connected to his jaw, breaking Asahi’s train of thoughts. He had tumbled over in shock, and before he knew it, Nishinoya was sitting on his lap, pulling off his shirt. Patting on his left arm, Nishinoya grinned. “Asahi, here.”

 

Panic overcame Asahi, and he tried to push Nishinoya off his lap _(but he didn’t have the strength to do that anymore)_. “You know, Asahi. We can’t lose the ace of Karasuno to hunger!”

 

Asahi’s self-control was thinning.

 

“GOD DAMN IT. ASAHI. JUST EAT ME. IF IT IS YOU I DON’T MIND IT. I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU SUFFER ANYMORE, ACE!” Nishinoya had his arm so close to Asahi’s mouth. He was prepared to be eaten alive. To not see tomorrow. Even if death was awaiting him, Nishinoya wouldn’t mind. As long as Asahi is alive. As long as Asahi continues to play volleyball. Everyone in Karasuno would be with Asahi - Sugawara’s there, Daichi’s there, Tanaka’s there. Asahi wouldn’t be lonely even if Nishinoya were to die.

 

A surge of pain came from his left arm, and Nishinoya braced for more to come. But it didn’t. Nishinoya wasn’t sure how much a ghoul would need to recover from hunger, but he was sure that a nip from his arm, not even a teaspoon big, was enough. “Asahi …”

 

“Nishinoya, thank you. But I can’t.” The bit of Nishinoya’s flesh was like a delicacy, and Asahi craved for more. But the little bit of food - human meat - was more than enough for Asahi to regain his self-control back. “I wouldn’t be human anymore if I ate humans.” He was looking down on the floor in shame.

 

“Hey, Asahi. Don’t you think you are both human and ghoul at the same time?” Nishinoya had taken to brushing out Asahi’s hair _(and the act seem to have a calming effect on the ace)_.

 

There were panicked footsteps coming from outside the apartment. The door of the apartment was thrown open, revealing a very worried Sugawara, and a furious-looking Daichi to Asahi and Nishinoya.

 

“Asahi! And Nishinoya too?!” Sugawara rushed into the apartment, and saw the wreck. He had also spotted the fresh blood on Nishinoya’s arm _(and how Nishinoya was having difficulty breathing)_. “I swear, both of you are such hard work to look after.”

 

A bag was tossed onto Asahi’s lap, and Sugawara pulled Nishinoya off Asahi to inspect his arm. “Daichi, help Asahi.” Daichi had hauled their ace up at Sugawara’s worried command and the two of them went to another room. Nishinoya knows that they didn’t want to let him see something _unnatural_.

 

“Suga-san,”

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“You should’ve told me about Asahi from the start, I could’ve hel-”

 

“How were you going to help when Asahi refuses to eat? Allow him to have you?” A look of disapproval was on his face, and Nishinoya could only stare on the floor guiltily. “But I’m positive that you are the one that can make Asahi feel like he’s a human again.”

 

Nishinoya looked at Sugawara and beamed. He wasn’t going to let Asahi go through this alone again.

 

* * *

 

They were shopping for coffee; because coffee is all Asahi can have without visiting the toilet and heaving bile and acid out of his stomach.

 

_“Yeah,” Asahi agrees. He had on a tired smile. “I can’t eat anything without throwing up.” Asahi admits, and hides the fact that human food disgusting to his tongue. Bread tastes like worms and sandpaper and rice tastes like dirt and cement. They don’t talk about ghouls eating human meat._

 

_Nishinoya looks severe._

 

_“But I can drink coffee,” Asahi assures. Nishinoya raises an eyebrow at that. “I don’t know why,” Asahi explains quickly, “I just like them.”_

 

_Asahi does not tell his companion that coffee tastes just like coffee, even if he is a ghoul. Asahi likes the normality. He sips coffee and pretends that he isn’t a ghoul, but a normal high school student._

 

_Nishinoya beams, “Let’s go coffee-shopping!”_

 

Nishinoya runs his finger along the aisle of coffee covers, humming and throwing random selections inside the basket.

 

“You gotta try new stuff, Asahi!” Nishinoya retorts, and sprints to the cashier with the basket in hand. Asahi smiles defeatedly and lets Nishinoya do as he wish. He catches a glimpse of Nishinoya’s sharp eyes.

  
Asahi smiles at the determination he catches in Nishinoya’s eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> [kagune](http://tokyoghoul.wikia.com/wiki/Kagune): a ghoul's predatory organ and functions as his weapon and claws  
> [kakugan](http://tokyoghoul.wikia.com/wiki/Kakugan): a ghoul's eye where the iris turns red and sclera turns black  
>  rinkaku: a type of kagune, power-type, sprouts from lower back
> 
> this fic was written together because of an impromptu decision and we may have regretted it while we were editing. we may or may not be sorry for any tears and heartbreak.


End file.
